Which Paper Product Are You?

This quiz will scientifically determine which paper product you most resemble.

As this quiz is based on products that mostly used in an office, we have deliberately based the quiz on an office environment. If you are a builder, factory worker or marine biologist and feel excluded as a result, we can only apologise and ask that you wait patiently for the next quiz, which should be along any minute.

To find out where you figure in the world of paper products, simply respond as honestly as you can to the following questions/scenarios and then submit your answers to see the result:

An incorrectly-addressed parcel arrives at your desk. What do you do?

Open it. It's mine now.

Scrawl 'return to sender' on it and leave it somewhere obvious on your desk.

Ask around the office to see if anyone knows who the parcel belongs to.

Use clues (names etc.) on the parcel in order to determine the identity of the recipient, and then deliver it personally.

Return the parcel to the person who delivered it and politely make them aware of their error.

Return the parcel to the person who delivered it and make them aware of the enormous amount of cost or suffering that could result from a misdirected parcel.

Your chair is a squeaky monster that digs into your spine. What do you do?

Suffer in silence. Nobody likes a moaner.

Request a new chair from someone who can do something about it.

Complain about your old chair to co-workers during your lunch break.

Stay behind during your lunch break and quietly switch your chair for someone else's.

Write a long diatribe about the importance of ergonomics and worker morale and send it to everyone in the company.

Spend a few quid and bring in your own damn chair.

A colleague provides you with a disk containing the latest reports... but that disk also contains some fruity pictures of their partner. What do you do?

Pretend that you never saw the images and get on with the reports.

Ask if you may copy the images.

Copy the images without asking.

Copy the images without asking and distribute them around the office.

Copy the images without asking and distribute them around the internet

Give your colleague a jolly good lecture on the evils of pornography and loudly accuse them of sexual harassment. But make sure that everybody gets a chance to see the pictures as you do this.

You arrive at the snack machine to see a partially-vended item teetering on the brink. One small nudge of the machine will make that snack yours, free of charge. What do you do?

Hit the machine, retrieve the snack, and then eat the snack

Hit the machine, retrieve the snack, and then eat the machine.

Hit the machine, retrieve the snack, and then offer the snack to someone as a gift.

Hit the machine, retrieve the snack, and then go and find the owner of the snack.

Put my money in and select any item, knowing that if the teetering snack falls as a result, I may as well take it.

Stealing is wrong, and to take this snack would be stealing. And I would never steal. Because stealing is wrong.

You're at a karaoke night with colleagues. One of them thinks that they have the voice of an angel, but in reality it sounds like a cat being strangled. When they take to the stage, what do you do?

Fix a smile on your face and clap politely.

Pretend to receive an urgent phone call, take it outside, then apologise when you get back.

Fix a smile on your face, clap politely and then mock them behind their back later.

Mock them openly and beg them to please, please stop before they do something you'll all regret.

Allow them to have their turn and enjoy every minute, of course. Music is a gift to be shared by all.

Worry more about what happens when it's your turn.

You've been passed over for a promotion. Again. The person who was promoted ahead of you is a twit. What do you do?

Start looking for a new job.

Start a website and share your woes.

Start a website and trash your company.

Start looking for ways to sabotage the twit promoted ahead of you.

Start work on that bestselling novel you've been meaning to write.

All of the above.

Fire! There's a fire in the building! What do you do?

Activate the fire alarm and co-ordinate the evacuation.

Head quickly and quietly to the nearest exit

Take a moment to retrieve a few precious mementos from your desk, then head quickly and quietly to the nearest exit.

Try to lighten the mood by screaming "Don't Panic!" like that bloke out of Dad's Army

Exit the building and immediately begin a discussion about safety in the workplace and the need for more detectors and extinguishers.

Having set the fire myself, I'm already three blocks away. I may watch it on the news later.

Site designed by AimproUK | All content copyright of SEARCHME4 2004 | Disclaimer | Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions